How not to Stir Fry

You would think stir fry would be easy and would be good every time. Well I figured out the trick to screwing it up. Fact #1. Thin sliced chicken does not need to be cooked in a crock pot. It's thin, it's a quick cook, 6 hours in a crock pot renders that nice dry, leftover, reheated chicken taste no buddy loves. Fact #2. If at first you don't use enough seasoning / Worcestershire sauce, soaking it does not make it better. Fact #3. Brown rice with assorted veggies boil in a bag + steamed broccoli can in fact disappoint. An all around lack luster effort.

Personal performance: D-

:(

Fast Fact Friday

Fast Fact Friday makes it's triumphant return!

The chances of getting a double yoaked egg is 0.1%

 

 

I WIN! right?

Enchiladas, si

After a long lay off, finally strapped my apron back on this eve. I tried my hand at one of my favorites by Mom.

Always have to utilize the crockpot when you can. I spiced up the chicken prep a touch by adding some chicken broth, red pepper, some left over taco seasoning and some onions to let the chicken thighs bath in.

 Turn this

into this. BAM.

*Note: Did not fry tortillas for a few seconds until limp, tortillas are already limp. #confused.

Personal performance: B

Per always, Mom wins. Nothing to complain about. But nothing too exciting either.

The Grocery Store Curiosity

I came to an interesting conclusion at the grocery store last eve, our brains are weird. I've made a slow, painful progression over the years from

this for $1.09

 to this for $2.87

sometimes this for $3.67 (usually only when its on sale)

and really splurge for this for $4.29 (on sale for $3.34). But never will I buy

this for $5.99. Why? because $6 for a pizza at the grocery store is a ridiculous price!! and yet

is a great!! deal. I don't think there is another place on earth that our brain tells us to buy the off brand because its 11 cents cheaper. We won't even bend over to pick up 11 cents and yet we downgrade our food choices to save the dime. This is very odd to me. I have skipped over buying fresh chicken for years because it was $3.50/ lb and you can get a frozen bag for $2.25/ lb. And yet sure, throw in a small queso for $3 to go with my burritos at Moe's for $10 is perfectly reasonable. I would never buy queso at the grocery store. why? because it's $3! Same concept with gas station sodas. I'm pumped if they have an any size for a $1 deal. So you get a 32oz for $1. But never would I buy a 2L at the grocery store for more than $0.85.

Mom, can you please explain the transformation of thinking that occurs when you walk into the grocery store? OK, Thanks!

TIME!

"I wonder if ABE has finished off that BBQ from a while back?"

Yes, just did. Thanks for asking. 

Backcountry

"Hey ABE, these recipes are great and all but they don't have electricity, or big pots in pans, or ingredients out where I'm going."

BAM!

The overnighter essentials. Trail mix & Granola Bars for vista snacks, PBJ, Ramen & Tuna for Dinner, and a little oatmeal in the morning. 2 days of food, less than 5 lbs, less than 3"x8" of space.

Tacos

Don't worry hungry readers, I'll feed you... So I got a crock pot in the fall thinking it would make meals far easier. Turn it on when I leave, dinner ready when I get home. Well, turns out that is true. What is also true is it takes a lot of thinking ahead and planning. Ergo, it doesn't get used all that much. But, it did get dusted off for some chicken tacos this eve.

1.25 lb boneless/skinless chicken thighs

Can of diced green chilies

Can of cannellini beans (drained)

2 tbsp of taco seasoning

HEY MOM! I bought the 1.25oz package of  package taco seasoning, do I use the whole thing? (keep in mind, I'm no fool, tbsp is a volume - oz is a mass, even if you get the app, those don't convert)

"Umm, open the package and measure out 2 tbsp ..... ??"

Ohhhhh. Good point.

THANKS MA!

Pile it all in and cook on low for 6 hours

I didn't make it home until 10 hours later. This is when Mom would usually call me saying "can you turn off the crock pot please". But one perks of buying the $45 crockpot over the $30 is it's got a built in "can you turn off the crock pot please - but keep it warm too" function. So I made it home, pulled out the chicken, gave it a shredded, mashed the beans (no idea why, just following instructions), added rice, Monterrey Jack cheese, splash of hot sauce and...

Personal performance: A

Actually very good. No real complaints. If I had more fixings they could of been my first A+. I'm real concerned how the chicken is going to hold up to the reheat though.

STIR FRY NIGHT!!!

It's Monday which apparently means its STIR FRY NIGHT!  I finally finished off my stock of rice and broccoli (pretty skimpy on the broccoli tonight unfortunately). I finally through in a little more cow into my diet, picked up a pack of strip steak on manager's special as the stir fry center piece this eve. I lathered it down with Teriyaki 30 minute marinade.  These marinades are just like cigars, sound like a great idea, never that happy with the decision. Otherwise a great dinner. Steak is better than chicken, per always.

Personal performance: B-

What's a good marinade / moist flavoring?

The Game Changer

I don't mean to overstate what I'm about to share with you, but I might be saving your relationship right now. You see the beauty of the microwave menu is you unwrap the plastic and throw it away. Beautiful system for us lazy young men. The major flaw of cooking like a grown up is it creates this..

I'm sure all of us at some point in our lives have lived with this person. I myself am this person. This has without a doubt caused a riff in a relationship at some point in your life. And the problem is there is no solution. Nobody likes doing dishes. Men are lazy and think dishes are women's work. Women have made up rules of "I cooked, you clean" to get out of dishes. Parents have made dishes a chore for generations because they have the power to force the poor kids to do the dishes. Beans even tried to chop her finger off just to get out of dishes! Simply put, dishes are miserable. But in order to cook, you must clean. So here is my how to guide to make MOM (and all other important ladies in your life) happy...

1. Personal pet peeve.

These are dishes.

This is a dishwasher.

These are pots.

 

This is a pot washer.

Let's keep it that way. I know its a lot easier to stick the pots in the dishwasher, get over it. Wash the pots.

2. My Pops goes overboard with the pre-wash and dish organization but the concept is solid. Line up like dishes with like dishes and it's much easier to empty the thing. Hence it gets emptied and dirty dishes don't pile up in queue. Also, if the thing is full, no need to jam 3 more things into it. It's not the last life boat off the Titanic, wait for the next load.

3. Finally, dishes are never going to be fun. But what I have found this year is this. Double sinks are a must, have plenty of counter space for drying, and put a TV right in front of you. Grind through. You will have kids you will force this task upon one day.

You're Welcome, in advance.

Guests

Treated my good pal Matt McCrary to Bean's spicy sausage pasta.

 

Personal performance: A

Yeah. It was spicy. Yeah. It was delicious.